Post by Catalin on Dec 20, 2006 14:01:54 GMT -5
Love is War, and Our Hearts are the Battlefield
Chapter Three
[/b][/center]Chapter Three
I put my cell phone back in my bag and went to order my food. I paid for my ten-piece chicken nugget meal and walked outside and sat down on a picnic table with my stuff. I sat there watching the little kids run around the colorful tunnels, play in the ball pit, and eat their meals happily. I wished that they never had to grow up, everything gets complicated when you grow up. I wanted them to stay little kids, playing in their many tunnels, playing dress-up, watching cartoons all morning, having the teachers do all the work while you daze off into space, oh how I missed being a kid. Everything was perfect, the only problem we had was who stole the cookie from the cookie jar, and that wasn’t even a real problem. That was just a make believe game, I wish we had those in high school. I wish for this all to be a game, with everyone as a pawn, being moved from space to space, while the player picked up card after card. If life was a big board game, then the person playing me must be a pretty suckish board game player.
I spotted two little kids. They reminded me of two people that I knew; Diana and me.
The little boy was cowering; an older kid was picking on him.
“Back off you big dummy!” The little girl told the older kid.
“Make me! Goldie locks!” The older kid sneered, referring to her blonde hair, wrapped up in two braids.
“No ones name is Goldie Locks. Stupid.” The girl said, showing no fear of the older boy.
The boy clenched his jaw. The girl was getting on his nerves.
“What? No come back?” The girl asked bravely.
“Kylie, stop.” The little boy whispered from behind her.
“Skye, don’t worry. They’re all talk no action.” Kylie reassured the little boy.
“I’m not so sure.” Skye said, looking like a deer in headlights, his eyes wide.
“Listen to your friend, little girl.” The older boy told her.
“I’m not little.” She hissed, and then kicked him in the shin. “And just to let you know; my name is Kylie.” She then turned and walked off, a timid Skye following close behind.
I smiled. Just like me and Diana. The older boy was looking ridiculous; he was holding his shin while jumping up and down and muttering curses under his breath. I laughed at him.
I finished my food and dumped my trash. I threw my stuff over the tall black fence and jumped over with ease; I did this all the time. I walked around, then I noticed that I had walked to the place I spent more time at then my own house, and probably the place I was least welcomed at; Diana’s house. I was standing in the middle of the driveway to the large Victorian styled house, about to walk into the side door to the garage. Luckily I caught myself before I went in. I heard a door opening above me; Diana’s room.
“What are you doing here?” She coldly said. I looked up to her; she was standing on her balcony.
“I…I don’t know.” I stuttered out.
“Well just go, Hayden.” She sat down on one of her lounge chairs, and looked down at me. I stood frozen in my spot. “Why are you even here? You should be at the hospital.”
“I left.” I said, timidly. I was like Skye; the little boy I saw at McDonalds, except I didn’t have a Kylie to stick up for me.
“Hayden, what is wrong with you?” She asked, while looking at me like I was a lab rat.
“I…I don’t know.” I said, defeated, my shoulders slumped and I looked down at the ground.
I heard the slap of shoes hitting concrete and saw hand colored converses, my name inscribed on the toe of one. I lifted my head slowly, expecting the worse. What I saw surprised me, a concerned looking Diana.
“Hay, why do you do this? And don’t say that crap about life; I want to know the whole story.” She said.
“I started doing this because of Dad, I needed some way to get rid of the pain, I got addicted, I couldn’t stop, and then you came along. I was hoping that if I hurt myself enough and said that it was because of you, I would fall out of love, but I couldn’t stop. I tried, D. I really did. After you got so worried, I couldn’t take it. I stayed away from everything sharp and I tried not to think about it. But then I scratched at my cuts until they reopened. This feeling that you get is…unbelievable. Everything shuts down, but only for a second, you can’t feel anything, you can’t see anything, you don’t think about anything! It’s pure bliss. It’s like a smoker. Why do they smoke? They have stressful days, and they’re addicted. It’s the same with us cutters. Except we don’t have patches, gum, or any of that crap. All we have is our friends, counselors, which barely any of us turn to, and ‘happy’ pills, which are most likely sugar. So almost all of it’s fake. We do this,” I rolled up my sleeve. “because of reality, fiction can’t stop it.”
“Hayden. Stop. Please?” She whispered, tears in her voice. She had turned away from me when I showed her my arm.
“Stop what?” I asked harshly, not noticing the tone of my voice. “Stop loving you? Believe me, I’ve tried so hard.”
“Just stop!” She screamed, and ran inside. I glared after her, I was mad. Mad at her for putting me through this, mad at her for not staying by my side, but mostly mad at her for not loving me back.
“Fine, Diana! Do what you do best! Run!” I yelled after her. I heard the door above me slam shut, knowing she had heard. A smirk grew on my face and I walked to the park.
It felt…nice? You could say that. I was finally letting my anger out. I wasn’t holding back anything. Would this haunt me later? I didn’t know, but I also didn’t care. Not now anyways. I might later, but not now. I can’t stand down now. I’m not going to turn into a Skye. I do not need a Kylie to protect me.
“Hayden? Dude, I heard you were in the hospital. What happened?” One of my so called friends, Drake asked. I don’t have any friends, I can’t trust people. I thought I could trust Diana, but I was wrong.
“Nothing.” I said coldly.
“What’s up with you? All I did was ask a simple question.” He shot back.
“Dude, just leave me alone.” I said, and then walked off in the opposite direction. I neither need- nor want- human interaction. They cannot be trusted, I don’t know why I let my guard down for Diana, and I even went so far as to fall in love with her. That was not going to happen again. Not if I had anything to do with it. I am going to stay in solitude, order delivery pizza every night, never open the door I am going to leave the money hanging out of the secret window of my door, making the delivery guy put the pizza’s down on the front porch, then not come out until I am sure no one was looking. Perfect plan, don’t you think? Okay, I’m a bit delusional right now. What do you expect? I just got totally dissed by my ex-best friend. I’m not going to be all giddy and excited. And people think I’m the crazy one.
“Now I’m talking to myself. Yup I’m completely sane.” I muttered and rolled my eyes, at myself.
“Mister?” I heard a small voice say, and then felt a tug at my sleeve. I yanked my arm up to my chest, and looked down to the small voice. “Are you alright?” A little girl asked, she was about nine years old with bright hazel eyes and blond hair, that was wrapped in two braids; Kylie, the little girl from McDonalds.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I mumbled.
“Didn’t I see you at McDonalds?” She asked curiously.
“Yeah, I saw you and that little boy there. You were pretty brave standing up to that guy.” I said, with a slight smile.
“Thanks!” She smiled brightly. “That jerk has been bothering Skye for a year now. I personally can’t stand him.”
“Skye’s pretty lucky to have you then, huh?” I asked.
“Yeah, He’s pretty shy. He never stands up for himself. But that’s what I’m here for now.”
“I was just like Skye when I was about your age. But I didn’t get someone like you until I was about twelve.”
“Really?” She asked a surprised face on. “You don’t look shy.”
I chuckled softly. “You wouldn’t believe how shy I was.”
“What’s your name?” She asked, out of nowhere.
“Hayden.” I answered. “Why?”
“I just wanted to know.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Hayden?”
“Yes?” I asked.
“Will you be my friend?”
I looked over at her nervously, befriending a little girl wouldn’t hurt. Would it?
“Yeah, I’ll be your friend.” I said and flashed a nervous smile to her.
“Great!” She said, smiling brightly. “I’ll introduce you to Skye tomorrow! He had to go home when we left McDonalds.”
“Kylie!” I heard a female voice call.
Kylie looked over her shoulder to see a middle age woman about fifty feet away. “I’m coming Mum!” She yelled to her. “Bye Hayden! I’ll see you tomorrow!” She yelled joyously, and then skipped off to her mom, who gave me a skeptical look.
I turned around, and started to walk aimlessly. Being friends with Kylie wouldn’t hurt. I hope.
The clouds started to turn grey and engulfed the sky. I could smell the rain in the air. It was very calm and peaceful.
My cell phone started to ring; I looked at the caller I. D. And it said “Home.” I picked it up reluctantly.
“Hello?” I asked into the receiver.
“Hayden? Oh my god! I’m so glad you’re okay!” My mother said in a hurried voice.
“I’m fine.” I mumbled.
“I am so glad to hear that.” I heard her sigh.
“What do you want mom?”
“I want you to come home. I’m worried about you.” This was a trap. She was using an overly sweet voice.
“What are you up to?” I asked harshly.
“Nothing. Why would you think I was up to something?” She said nervously.
“You’re acting funny.”
“No I’m not. I’m just excited to have you coming home.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in twenty. Bye.” I said coldly, and then hung up, not waiting for an answer.
I walked though the park, the long way home. I made it to the opening of my neighborhood and it started to pour rain, the droplets pounding on the ground rhythmically. I wrapped my hoodie tightly around my small figure and shivered slightly. I saw a figure turning onto my street and hurried to see who it was. From what I could tell it was a girl, about my age with short hair.